TORTURED CATS AND DOGS ADAPTING TO YOUR NARCISSISTIC THOUGHTLESS ARCHITECTURAL FLOATING STAIRCASE
Cat says to dog: “What the hell were they thinking?”
Cats and dogs have been holding secret meetings behind closed doors working on a way to kill the “open staircase” concept.
It is very easy to understand why these poor critters of the universe must hate their parents; they are probably praying the home will burn or get blown away in a hurricane. You can almost read their minds when you meet them.
“Hey lady, have you seen the steps? Yah, it’s nasty. I have to fly up and down and pray I don’t fly through the middle. I tried the slow version and that definitely didn’t work. I slipped on every step and ended up peeing on the 4th step. My mother then scolded me, as if I was just a naughty little cat but I was scared and contrary to popular demand, some cats are afraid of heights.”
We are on a mission to get rid of this ridiculous and highly over-rated concept of the “floating staircase.” There is something missing on every step and we believe it’s called: “the back of the step.”
WHERE ARE THE CARPENTERS OF THE WORLD? It’s called a “half ass” job, buddy…
Cats and dogs can no longer tolerate this lifestyle. We are consumed by the thought of bedtime and having to make it up the steps without getting injured. We’re not dumb; we know what you will do if we break our neck. It will be a sad day for you. You will take us to the Vet and that will be our last visit. We know what that’s about. We’ve heard stories.
You never thought about the tragic “redo” when your 2-legged children were young. You knew better then. You knew they were not able to run up and down an open staircase, slippery and confusing, like a Ferris-wheel with a broken handle bar.
We have had major anxiety and unfortunately see no other option other than to take legal action against the manufacturers of this death-trap.
We’re sorry it’s had to come to this but we see no other options available and our safety is at risk on a daily basis.
We have younger brothers and sisters who had been adopted and have wanted to retract their contracts and be with another family. It’s not fair to them and they clearly have no choice in the matter. All your “bells and whistles” of your pretty homes are repulsive.
Please be on the “look out”for our Server visiting you in the next 48 hours.
